A Monkey Cage reader has suggested some reply to the economics-themed valentines that Justin Wolfers summarizes here. I made a half-hearted stab and then realized, “Hey, let’s make this a contest!” Leave your suggestions in comments. To get things started, here’s what I came up with in 10 minutes, including handy links to research where appropriate:
- When it comes to you, I’ll never be a swing voter.
- You and me are just like democracies. Always at peace.
- Our love is all surge and no decline.
- You talk so sexy that I’ll never, ever invoke cloture.
{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }
Our love will never dealign.
Let’s improve our equilibrium by playing an infinitely repeated game.
You can set my agenda any time.
I’d like our dyadic relationship to indicate a high level of reciprocity in the COW Project (Correlates of Wuv) data.
When it comes to you I am a blind partisan, never ambivalent…
I would never want to gerrymander your curves
My approval of you will always be uncorrelated with the state of our economy.
No veto point could ever constrain our love.
Even though I’ve got the power of the purse, sweetheart, you are the unitary executive power in this relationship.
Will you join my coalition?
The status quo is irrelevant. I always prefer to “spend more” time with you.
Bradley has nothing on my polling effect.
Let’s bowl together.
Let’s let our love trickle down to the whole world.
Our interaction is statistically significant.
A three-way interaction will never be necessary.
They’re just harder to interpret.
Such a result would inevitably be perverse.
Your effects on me are anything but minimal.
My love for you will never have to be imputed.
I might say I’m independent, but I’m really leaning toward you.
Can I reveal my latent preference? It’s you.
I love you like an old, wealthy, educated, residentially-immobile partisan loves voting.
“It doesn’t matter if the Euro collapses, you’ll always be my Celtic Tiger.”
Let me preempt your words, my darling, and articulate just how much secular time I want to spend with you. There won’t be no disjunction, so we won’t need reconstruction. May our regimes be affiliated until the end of political time.
These were submitted to me by a Friend of the Blog:
(From a DC voter:) If I had a vote, you’d get it.
No separation of powers for us.
May two budget proposals beat as one.
Occupy me.
I don’t know what’s the matter with Kansas, but there’s nothing the matter with yours.
From a co-worker:
When it comes to you, I’ll never abstain.
Let’s make a motion to recommit.
Rose are red,
Violets are blue,
The availability heuristic
played no role in choosing you.
There’s no dilemma, baby; I am a prisoner to your love. Just give me some cheap talk, and I’ll be ready to cooperate.
Or,
Looking into your eyes solved my commitment problem.
Baby I could filibuster you all night.
Join my coalition and I’ll fulfill all your intense demands
Your soft power won my love
You can be the hegemon of my world every day
I love you, it’s who I am (a constructivist)
Trust me, if we head back to my place I can support this anecdote with some hard data.
No chain ganging nor buck-passing, I’m a one-man coalition of the willing.
“Oooh baby, your war chest actually ATTRACTS quality challengers.”
The first and second derivatives of my love for you are positive.
Let’s go research state legislatures together — no one’s looking there.
Time for me to exercise the pocket veto, if you catch my meaning.
I’m really into models – let’s formalize this.
When I look in your eyes I see stars more beautiful than a .001 p-value…
“How about you and me process trace our way upstairs?”
“You make me hotter than a bus full of neocons at an arms fair”
My bureaucratic drift will always be toward your ideal position.
We’re such a good match we won’t have to go to conference.
Under what conditions would you accept my offer of friendly diplomatic relations?
My love for you will never regress to the mean.
You matter at more than just the margins.
The end of history ain’t the end of our story.
Nobody has ever punctuated my equilibrium like you.
My proposal to you has an empty winset.
Baby, let’s iterate until we converge.
You had me at ‘Abstract’.
GOP is Red
Democrats are Blue
They think gridlock is sexy,
but they haven’t met you.