Polisci Valentines Contest!

by John Sides on February 14, 2012 · 46 comments

in Frivolity

A Monkey Cage reader has suggested some reply to the economics-themed valentines that Justin Wolfers summarizes here.  I made a half-hearted stab and then realized, “Hey, let’s make this a contest!”  Leave your suggestions in comments.   To get things started, here’s what I came up with in 10 minutes, including handy links to research where appropriate:

  • When it comes to you, I’ll never be a swing voter.

  • You and me are just like democracies.  Always at peace.

  • Our love is all surge and no decline.

  • You talk so sexy that I’ll never, ever invoke cloture.



Mike Wagner February 14, 2012 at 11:36 am

Our love will never dealign.

Moby Hick February 14, 2012 at 11:55 am

Let’s improve our equilibrium by playing an infinitely repeated game.

Mike Gruszczynski February 14, 2012 at 12:05 pm

You can set my agenda any time.

Moby Hick February 14, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I’d like our dyadic relationship to indicate a high level of reciprocity in the COW Project (Correlates of Wuv) data.

CDJ February 14, 2012 at 12:38 pm

When it comes to you I am a blind partisan, never ambivalent…

TSR February 14, 2012 at 12:46 pm

I would never want to gerrymander your curves

John February 14, 2012 at 12:55 pm

My approval of you will always be uncorrelated with the state of our economy.

J February 14, 2012 at 12:59 pm

No veto point could ever constrain our love.

Matt February 14, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Even though I’ve got the power of the purse, sweetheart, you are the unitary executive power in this relationship.

Aman Batheja February 14, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Will you join my coalition?

Joe Ura February 14, 2012 at 1:14 pm

The status quo is irrelevant. I always prefer to “spend more” time with you.

Trevor February 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Bradley has nothing on my polling effect.

zie February 14, 2012 at 1:34 pm

Let’s bowl together.

Steve February 14, 2012 at 1:44 pm

Let’s let our love trickle down to the whole world.

Carlisle Rainey February 14, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Our interaction is statistically significant.

Scott February 14, 2012 at 2:11 pm

A three-way interaction will never be necessary.

Trey February 14, 2012 at 2:14 pm

They’re just harder to interpret.

Andrew Therriault February 14, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Such a result would inevitably be perverse.

Andrew Therriault February 14, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Your effects on me are anything but minimal.

My love for you will never have to be imputed.

I might say I’m independent, but I’m really leaning toward you.

Can I reveal my latent preference? It’s you.

I love you like an old, wealthy, educated, residentially-immobile partisan loves voting.

Jackie February 14, 2012 at 2:07 pm

“It doesn’t matter if the Euro collapses, you’ll always be my Celtic Tiger.”

TSR February 14, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Let me preempt your words, my darling, and articulate just how much secular time I want to spend with you. There won’t be no disjunction, so we won’t need reconstruction. May our regimes be affiliated until the end of political time.

John Sides February 14, 2012 at 2:41 pm

These were submitted to me by a Friend of the Blog:

(From a DC voter:) If I had a vote, you’d get it.

No separation of powers for us.

May two budget proposals beat as one.

Occupy me.

RobC February 14, 2012 at 2:56 pm

I don’t know what’s the matter with Kansas, but there’s nothing the matter with yours.

JCryd February 14, 2012 at 3:07 pm

From a co-worker:

When it comes to you, I’ll never abstain.

Sarah February 14, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Let’s make a motion to recommit.

Moby Hick February 14, 2012 at 4:27 pm

Rose are red,
Violets are blue,
The availability heuristic
played no role in choosing you.

Jim Golby February 14, 2012 at 4:42 pm

There’s no dilemma, baby; I am a prisoner to your love. Just give me some cheap talk, and I’ll be ready to cooperate.


Looking into your eyes solved my commitment problem.

Steve February 14, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Baby I could filibuster you all night.

24601 February 14, 2012 at 5:33 pm

Join my coalition and I’ll fulfill all your intense demands

Tina Zappile February 14, 2012 at 6:12 pm

Your soft power won my love

You can be the hegemon of my world every day

I love you, it’s who I am (a constructivist)

Joe February 14, 2012 at 6:18 pm

Trust me, if we head back to my place I can support this anecdote with some hard data.

anon February 14, 2012 at 6:23 pm

No chain ganging nor buck-passing, I’m a one-man coalition of the willing.

Jack February 14, 2012 at 6:53 pm

“Oooh baby, your war chest actually ATTRACTS quality challengers.”

Seth February 14, 2012 at 7:06 pm

The first and second derivatives of my love for you are positive.

Let’s go research state legislatures together — no one’s looking there.

Time for me to exercise the pocket veto, if you catch my meaning.

Phillip February 14, 2012 at 7:47 pm

I’m really into models – let’s formalize this.

Dave Wiltse February 14, 2012 at 7:48 pm

When I look in your eyes I see stars more beautiful than a .001 p-value…

SR February 14, 2012 at 7:54 pm

“How about you and me process trace our way upstairs?”

“You make me hotter than a bus full of neocons at an arms fair”

Andy Civettini February 14, 2012 at 8:54 pm

My bureaucratic drift will always be toward your ideal position.

We’re such a good match we won’t have to go to conference.

Under what conditions would you accept my offer of friendly diplomatic relations?

Ali V. February 14, 2012 at 9:06 pm

My love for you will never regress to the mean.

Alex Williams February 14, 2012 at 11:26 pm

You matter at more than just the margins.

Alex Williams February 14, 2012 at 11:32 pm

The end of history ain’t the end of our story.

David February 15, 2012 at 3:38 am

Nobody has ever punctuated my equilibrium like you.

Ben February 15, 2012 at 2:21 pm

My proposal to you has an empty winset.

Anna February 14, 2013 at 3:35 pm

Baby, let’s iterate until we converge.

Joss February 14, 2013 at 3:54 pm

You had me at ‘Abstract’.

Maria Reyes February 14, 2013 at 4:38 pm

GOP is Red
Democrats are Blue
They think gridlock is sexy,
but they haven’t met you.

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